


After All

by saltstreets



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/F, Getting Together, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 22:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18860053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltstreets/pseuds/saltstreets
Summary: This would be the moment, Beau thought, to start the distancing process. If there was to be one.





	After All

**Author's Note:**

> A fic for episode 54 that I meant to post before episode 55 came out, and…well clearly that didn’t happen. Ai yi yi but I write like a snail climbing uphill through molasses. Also one day I’m going to write something properly long for these two, I swear!

 

 

Beau was quite good at sensing when she was being cornered. A sizeable part of her training had focussed on tracking and predicting enemy movements, and how best to counter them. Monks were by nature extremely up close and personal and therefore needed to have an instinctive understanding of space, around and between them and any target that needed to get its ass kicked. So when Beau felt herself being shepherded into a tight spot or carefully manoeuvred into a certain position, she picked up on it almost immediately thanks to all those hours of relentless Colbalt Soul instruction.

And  then there was also the fact that Jester was really, really not subtle.

She had been watching Beau closely ever since they had got back to the Four Corners and then quickly agreed with Caleb’s suggestion of boys’ and girls’ rooms, making sure to trail right behind her as they went to claim their spots. Beau’s suspicions were further confirmed just a few moments later when Jester hopped up to follow her to the privy, claiming in slightly too loud a tone that she needed to go as well.

“Sure, go gossip in the toilets. I’m going back to the bar,” Nott groused. “I’m not sleeping without a drink.”

Beau didn’t say anything. Whatever Jester wanted, she figured she would find out sooner rather than later. Jester was never one to beat around the bush.

So she wasn’t surprised when, on exiting the little latrine built into the back of the inn’s bizarre stables, Jester made no move to use the room after her and instead just stood in the hall with her arms folded, fixing Beau with a determined expression.

Beau considered for a moment just heading back to their room. She was already going to get less sleep than everyone else thanks for her appointment with Dairon, and it looked like Jester was trying to appear intimidating which wasn’t a great sign for the content of whatever conversation she had planned. But it _was_ Jester, after all. Beau sighed. “Alright Jes, what is it? Whatever you want to say, come on.”

For a split second Jester seemed to waver slightly, uncrossing and then recrossing her arms, but then regained her nerve. She frowned at Beau. “Were you telling Dairon the truth?”

Beau blinked. “What?”

“What you said to Dairon when we all left you two to have your private conversation. Was that true?”

Ignoring the fact that Jester had apparently eavesdropped on enough of the so-called private conversation to be digging into its contents, Beau tried to think of what might have been construed as a lie. “Uh, what bit of what I said? About wanting to help people?” She frowned at Jester, confused. “Yeah, that was true, I guess. I have actually been trying to be nicer.”

“No, not that,” Jester said impatiently, “what you said to her about not being too attached. To us.”

Right. That. A rare feeling of guilt unfurled itself in Beau’s gut. “Oh, yeah.”

“Because you said that you were not,” Jester went on, two of her fingers tapping at her elbow and the heart-shaped tip of her tail flicking back and forth in a slightly distressed manner. “And I didn’t know if that was the way you actually feel, or if you just said that to her. And I know afterwards you also said some nice things about me but you can say nice things about people and not actually care about them, you know?”

This would be the moment, Beau thought, to start the distancing process. If there was to be one. She could tell Jester in the nicest way she possibly could that what she’d said to Dairon was the truth. That their little gang was fun to travel with and all, and she appreciated them very much, but that a level of distance had to be maintained. Professional distance. Monk stuff, you know.

The frown that Jester had been heroically maintaining had taken on a bit of a plaintive edge. Fuck. Shit. Shitballs.

 _You are stuck with these people, Beauregard,_ said a voice in her head that sounded irritatingly like Caleb. _What is the point of maintaining a ‘professional distance’ as you’ve put it? No point at all. They are your friends._

 _That’s a lot coming from you,_ Beau mentally shot back. _Mr. Trust Issues over here wants me to get all invested, huh?_

 _I have no idea what you’re talking about,_ droned Brain Caleb, _I am an aspect of your own subconscious._

_Ugh, whatever._

“Listen…” Beau sighed and scratched her arm uncomfortably. She was so crap at this. But it was, after all, Jester. “No. I wasn’t telling Dairon the truth. I, uh, I love you guys a lot, okay? I know she said a bunch of shit about working alone and not getting attached and whatever, I don’t know if you heard that but it’s, it’s not for me. I don’t want to work alone and not name my birds. Even if they do fly away like, almost immediately. I used to think that was the kind of person I was, but I guess it’s not? ‘Cause to be honest, that kind of life sounds pretty shit _tyoof-_ ”

She was cut off by a sudden armful of tiefling as Jester flung herself at Beau, practically shoulder-checking her backwards. “Oh, Beau!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Beau patted Jester on the horn. “Didn’t I already tell you all this back on the boat? Remember what I said?”

“You did but I know how much you admire Dairon and I wanted to be certain!”

There was a sort of soppy smile definitely forming on Beau’s face but she didn’t really care. This was Jester.

As if to emphasise that fact, Jester chose that moment to lower her grip around Beau’s waist and hoist her up, beaming at her.

“Whoa! Easy-”

Jester gave Beau a twirl before setting her back down and wow, okay. Beau wasn’t going to start denying her inner truth now: and that was _hot._

No one was in their weird stable room when they wandered back. Nott was presumably back at the bar as she’d said or with Caleb and Beau guessed that Yasha was most likely…wherever Yasha tended to go. One day she was going to have to pick up that particular skill of making herself scarce. Quiet downtime was few and far between with their group. She flung herself down on the bunk with a sigh, and watched lazily as Jester poked about, inspecting the cracking walls and the little gaps in the window frame through which cool air could already be felt. They might need to pull out their bed rolls tonight, if the provided blankets didn’t cut it.

“Okay,” Jester blurted suddenly, spinning on her heel to look at Beau, “one more question.”

She hesitated. Again. It wasn’t like Jester not to just say what was on her mind, so Beau sat up on the bunk and waited, something she was getting pretty good recently. “Hey. C’mere.” She patted the lumpy mattress in front of herself and Jester obediently came over and sat down, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, I know you respect Dairon, but do you love her as well? I mean, like are you _in_ _love_ with her?”

Beau winced. “Is this about the time I said we’d hooked up? ‘Cause seriously, that was just a whack lie I told. I don’t even really know why I said it.”

“No, I know.” Jester chewed on her lip. “But I was thinking, maybe you told that lie _because_ you are actually in love with her? When she was disguised as that sexy drow lady I thought maybe you were going to have sex with her in that gross alleyway,  and then after she wasn’t the sexy drow lady I thought maybe you were going to have sex with her anyways.” Jester’s eyes widened. “Are you going to have sex with her when you meet tonight?”

“No! Fucking- no. I’m not going to have sex with Dairon.” Beau nearly smacked herself in the face in frustration. Goddammit, that dumb lie was causing her so many unexpected problems.

“Okay!” said Jester, tone bright. “ Great! That’s great.” She twisted the hem of her draping sleeve between her fingers.

Huh. “Would you be…upset if I did sleep with her?” Beau asked tentatively, feeling out this weird new territory.

“What? No!” Jester protested immediately. “You can have sex with whoever, Beau, of course. I don’t want you to think that I’d like, be _mad_ if you wanted to have sex with Dairon, ‘cause she was pretty strong, and tough, and super hot, and stuff!” There was a shrillness entering her voice that belied a nervous energy there. “Actually, why don’t you? She seems pretty great, even if she’s kinda scary, or maybe because she’s kinda scary, you really should have sex with her, Beau, I think it’s-”

“Oh for- _fuck’s_ sake-” Beau gave up. Fuck words, fucking talking, thinking. Fuck what Dairon said about not getting attached. Dairon was intelligent and impressive and knew a lot but she didn’t know everything. She didn’t know this.

Beau leaned forward and grabbed Jester by the chin, tilting her face back up from where Jester had been staring at her hands in her lap. “Hey,” Beau said, which was the only warning shot she fired before she quickly but carefully planted a kiss on Jester.

The half second that Beau’s lips were on Jester’s was- this was the best gods damned idea of her life. Jester was soft and gorgeous and could probably throw Beau through a wall. That was some good shit. Kissing her was the easiest thing in the world.

With any luck she wasn’t just completely out there with that thought.

Beau pulled back, trying not to seem like she was half really pleased with herself and half terrified that she’d just fucked up in a major way. “There. That. That’s why I’m not going to sleep with Dairon, okay? Can we drop it now?”

For a moment Jester said nothing, just blinked at Beau in owlish surprise. Then her lips curled into a wide, triumphant smile. “You _are_ secretly in love with me! I _knew_ it!”

Beau couldn’t help it. She laughed. She laughed, and laughed, and Jester joined in and then Jester was wrapping her arms around Beau and snuggling up underneath her chin. Normally Beau wasn’t the cuddly type but with Jester it wasn’t so bad. After all, it was Jester.

“You can’t hide your feelings from me, Beau,” she said joyfully, and then glanced up at Beau her eyes suddenly shy. Jester was never shy. It did things to Beau, things that made her stomach display acrobatics hitherto unseen. “Hey, do you want to kiss me again? And like, maybe for longer than a millisecond?”

“Yes please,” said Beau with her best manners.

And as Jester proceeded to show her with great enthusiasm, sometimes it paid to be polite.

 

 


End file.
